The Rant

Oh how unimportant a person becomes in the eyes of the young,when a social phone call degenerates to... well I gotta go.. were odering Pizza, or don't forget you owe me money. It's the brush off and I'm trying to figure out the basal emotion behind it btween a parent and child... Because it still exists for me with my Mother too.

It would never happen if we weren't family.. we wouldn't be that rude...yet time and time again family members brush each other off.. Is it competitiveness, resentment, or a deeper unknown emotional mechanism.. All I know is that I wish I could have back a million minutes I lost with my DAD.. Those teenage years when he asked me to go fishing with him...but I had skirts to chase and brain cells to scramble.

It was only when I got married and my first Child was born did I start to rebuild stronger bridges... but there was so little time.......who was to know.. Today I made time to go and see Mom and we talked for 90 miutes about stuff...It was an insignificant few moments in my universe, but in the world of an 80 year old it was everything...

So cherish the moments with those who are bound to you by blood regardless of the primal drive to repell and compete.. Life is short and no one knows when that dark moment will arrive and irreversible anguish will flood your soul. In the next 5 years we will spend many dreary days in funeral chapels, churches and cemeteries. It is part of the circle of life...but we only get one ride around so make sure you take care of the pople you love along the path that is yours.

Comments

Rob Retchless said…
I hear you Dad, but I feel the need to fill in the gaps here. This is the first I've heard about there not being a "strong bridge" between the two of us. I don't consider us to be at odds with each other, nor do I consider the time that we spend together to be insignificant.

The basal emotional mechanism of which you speak, that is reponsible for you being "brushed off" is simple... We all have plans, and other people that rely on us...not just family. The night where I said I had to go because I was ordering pizza was a perfect example. I told my housemates that I'd order the pizza. Simple! When you called, I was in the middle of ordering online, and I had to complete the order. :) I had hungry housemates waiting.

If you need to talk, tell me that you'd like me to call later. I am very good at making time for people that are special to me...but when you're 750 km apart, the most important people can often be pushed aside for the immediate needs of the people that are 15 feet away, or more precisely, maintaining positive dynamics with the people that I live with.

So quit it with this drama business, and communicate with me openly. There are bound to be times where I'll have to brush you off, because of other commitments. We have built a strong bridge :) We just need to walk on it from time to time.
10:56 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Summer Camp..One more time....

Life is just not a chain of unconnected events. Things happen for a reason and what appears to be random chance actually begins to look like a pattern if you reflect back over time. Summer Camp holds this place in my universe. Imagine a driftinf 18 year old...out of school, working in a mill and basically living from one party to another. This person was me in 1976. I was full of big ideas but with absolutely no focussing mechanism and no mentors to help me channel the "potential" everyone was continuously throwing in my face. Camp Wilvaken had been a place that my mum had worked at as the "shopping" person and as an 8 year old I had spent a few uncomfortable days there trying to fit in as an outsider in a boarding camp. As fate would have it Mum had been asked to pitch in again and as an aside the Camp director mentioned that they needed a cousellor as a last minute replacement. It was financial suicide really as I was planning to return to school but...I`ve ...
Read more

Hot Tub Lung

Holy Crap.... I thought I was Dying....Over the Holidays I had recurring bouts of chills and fevers and this has persisted along with a chronic cough for the past 6 months.....the weird thing is that it seems to come and go......with no real pattern..until this holiday when I started to connect these symptoms with Hot Tub use.....Not only that other members of the family began to have mild bouts of the same symptoms........Go to: http://www.thoracic.org/sections/clinical-information/environmental-and-occupational/clinical-cases/pages/case5.html To read about it...... I've got some seerious Hot Tub Maintenance to do this week.... With the end result having the Hot Tub outside! Ciao
Read more

Let down

It's Monday afternoon and the sky is leaden grey again and scudding low clouds are obscuring Mt. Orford. It's May and noththing has started to bloom yet...everything is waiting...dormant....poised for that huge explosion of growth the summer sun will bring... My soul feels the same way......This grey heavy feeling like the rain pounding on the roof....that gnawing feeling when you sense foreboding but can't put a finger on the cuase. It has to be the culmination of a very emotonally draining year....It is a father's role to be the facillitator..the one that makes sure everything and everyone stays on course...I see the big picture and letting go of this role has left me purposeless. My two son's need me less and rightfully so, although the youngest one is drifting. I know deep in my heart that he has to make his own way but I fear, much like an analogy from Star Wars, that he is being courted by the darkside, so I feel impotent and helpless as life usurps my ro...
Read more