Counting Down the Days

On Wednesday at 12:01 Am. my youngest son, Jamie turns 18. At that moment I cease to be legally responsible for my Children. Sounds cold doesn't it? Actually, it is with great sadness that this phase of my life passes. In fact I haven't dealt well with the emotional distancing that comes with time and maturation of ones children. In fact I lament the loss of the good old days.. I was born to be a Dad and I loved every minute of it so far... Even the difficult parts....It was modelled for me by my own great Father whose passion for his "boys" lives on in my soul... I also know from my own experience that as I mellow and lose my drive my sons will come emotionally closer to me again. At 17 I was too busy chasing my own dreams to give my Dad much thought. I now know how he felt and I wish I could see him again to talk about this. It was when I got married that the bridge began to rebuild and then... he was gone.....

I don't regret a thing...I wish we'd been settled enough to have 3 more kids... two is not enough and it would have been great to have had a duaghter so Louise would have had an ally in the house...but it was not to be....Life goes on and we make the best of it....SO on Wednesday when my son Jamie turns 18, I will have done my job and my boys will be legally men! Somehow, I don't believe my role as Ftaher wil stop at this moment.....In Jamies case, I just hope my role as Banker stops on Tuesday!

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