Orford View Thoughts

Working for a living or living to work.....There is a fine line between the two...I've always been one to baost that Iwas my own man....independent.. did things my way....but as I age into that wonderful phase where just my life experieince commands respect from my younger collegues, I'm in a quandry. I'll tell you why... Recently I put my name forward for a position of increased responsibility. This required that I be intervired by the senior management personnel of the organization I work for. The experieince was positive and I achieved my goal of updating my professional profile. So I should have been pleased about this.... Yet somewhere inside...The experience began to affect my emotional balance....and the fact that I let it idicates that there is some underlying insecurity in me. Actually, it probably exists in all of us becasue any time you lay yourself out therere on the carpet, ego is involved and no matter how independent we all pretend to be, we seek valid...

Today I golfed at Jardin des Sables, in the shadow of my beloved Mt. Orford. A polar front had come through over night and the sky was the deepest blue...it was clean and every tree and blade of grass was standing out in maximum contrast. Fluffy white fair weather clouds sailed by on the back of the north wind. The Hot June Sun had free reign to bake us....yet with dessert like dryness not a drop of sweat formed.. It was comfortable... Each breath quenched the deep recess of my lungs....I couldn't get enough of the cool clear air into my lungs......and as the night fell....icy tendrils of early summer frost began to reach out from the shadows...Smoke from the campfire rose and then moved horizontally trapped in the rapidly cooling inversion layer..... and in the distance Mt. Orford loomed closer in the clear Canadian twilight......

Oh how unimportant a person becomes in the eyes of the young,when a social phone call degenerates to... well I gotta go.. were odering Pizza, or don't forget you owe me money. It's the brush off and I'm trying to figure out the basal emotion behind it btween a parent and child... Because it still exists for me with my Mother too. It would never happen if we weren't family.. we wouldn't be that rude...yet time and time again family members brush each other off.. Is it competitiveness, resentment, or a deeper unknown emotional mechanism.. All I know is that I wish I could have back a million minutes I lost with my DAD.. Those teenage years when he asked me to go fishing with him...but I had skirts to chase and brain cells to scramble. It was only when I got married and my first Child was born did I start to rebuild stronger bridges... but there was so little time.......who was to know.. Today I made time to go and see Mom and we talked for 90 miutes about stuff...I...

When I watch a program like Canadian Idol or Coach a team or even invigilate an exam at school...I can't get over how many people don't seize the moment and rise to the occasion. In fact the faster our lives get the more fear I see in the eyes of todays youth.. It is always everyone elses fault...no one wants to accept responsibility and the idea of working for something has disappeared. Fear of failure runs rampant and avoidance hs become a fine art. I wonder if this is the decline of Western Civilization...Was the the case in Ancient Rome??? There are no barbarians around the next hill waiting to invade.. instead I see another threat. The machines. As we assign more and more of our tasks to the rapidly advancing cyber intelligence we assign our autonomy and our individuality. At what point do we lose control....The Orwellian prophesy, The terminator scenario, the Matrix.......... We must find a way to reinvigorate the majority of todays youth. Bannish learned helplessn...

When I was a wild teenager, I learned by observation that if I did something evil or underhanded, I was usually repayed in kind by some unseen force in the universe. I remember a time when I was seventeen and I "borrowed" a few dollars from someone. My conscience bothered me, but I did it anyway. Within two weeks, my prized jean jacket was stolen, followed by my bicycle. Were these events connected? I believe so. I have had enough life experience now to truly believe that you do have a role in making your own luck. There have been too many experiences that back this up. In a big busy world so many events are given up to coincedence but I believe that there is more than chance at work. Tommy Shane Steiner's country hit "What if She's an Angel" makes this point...what if the amount of good fortune you receive is equal to the amount of good fortune you create for others. Maybe it is a "human" energy that helps to keep our civilzation intact.. A...

On Wednesday at 12:01 Am. my youngest son, Jamie turns 18. At that moment I cease to be legally responsible for my Children. Sounds cold doesn't it? Actually, it is with great sadness that this phase of my life passes. In fact I haven't dealt well with the emotional distancing that comes with time and maturation of ones children. In fact I lament the loss of the good old days.. I was born to be a Dad and I loved every minute of it so far... Even the difficult parts....It was modelled for me by my own great Father whose passion for his "boys" lives on in my soul... I also know from my own experience that as I mellow and lose my drive my sons will come emotionally closer to me again. At 17 I was too busy chasing my own dreams to give my Dad much thought. I now know how he felt and I wish I could see him again to talk about this. It was when I got married that the bridge began to rebuild and then... he was gone..... I don't regret a thing...I wish we'd be...